2 months home

Neena is now 2 months home! Gosh we've had some milestones!

Her cast was removed and she is now in a splint and hopefully soon, a walking brace! We can move onto physical therapy and piecing together all the medical issues!! We should have the genetic tests back soon  and so far all her labs and tests have been so encouraging. 

I think one of the major hurdles to us bonding has been her medical problems. I think when she refractured her leg in India, it caused her to bond even more with Erin and I and that really was a blessing! And She hasn't looked back since we met her at the orphanage! She's just gonna be that brave fearless girl who is up for anything! 

But for me and the kids, we had plans to "tiptoe throught the tulips" or at least run and play together and with her being unable to walk, it changed things quickly. I had to carry her everywhere and Logan got jealous immediately. She couldn't keep up to play with the big kids. No playing chase or riding bikes and every time they ask to go somewhere it's usually, "let's wait until Neena can walk to do that". 

So she finally got her cast off and started walking a few weeks later, around thanksgiving!!! It has been so good for everybody. I think now the kids are starting to see her as a 5 year old girl, a sibling! She is no longer just mom's attachment she brought home from india!  We are still being very cautious with her activity...but she is 5, in a new place with lots of toys and playthings and she has been immobile since the first of September....she would be riding bikes and jumping on the trampoline if I would let her. But for now, walking will have to do! Also I think she feels less vulnerable being able to get places on her own. I can't imagine being handicapped in a world full of unfamiliar faces and unable to fully communicate, all while mourning the only life I had ever known! So since she's been walking things have been so much smoother! 

So this month.......... 

I held her hand and walked with her for the first time! Hand in hand...heaven!

She had her first bath! And shower! (Which she loooves and can NOT go a day without)

She helped put up her first christmas tree and learned to sing jingle bells! She is all about some karaoke! And she can tell you who's birthday is on Christmas!

She says a very shortened version of "the blessing"at dinner. 

Her and Logan played...that one time! 

She started preschool 2 days a week! And she has her first friend, Nevaeh! And I was told she tried to escape the whole first day. (I mean, where was she going?)

She started talking about us ALL going back to India to see Kiriti. (Dear lord!)

She is speaking ALOT of English! Short phrases now. I mean she is sooo smart!   

She met her Pop and fell for the old 4 wheeler trick!

I know I missed a lot of "firsts" in her life, and that can make me sad to think about, but We are excited to experience a lot of new firsts with her! 

One month home

This week marked 4 weeks Neena being home with her family! 

In 4 weeks she has embraced Mexican food & pizza, tried a burger, though she was not a fan, likes sweet tea, can say "roll tide" and has learned to blame everything on Logan! Literally if she hears a sound that sounds like something broke or fell she immediately screams, Logan!! She is very attached to Vivi, her second momma, Especially at night. If vivi wants to stay up Neena will cry for vivi to come to bed until she does. Neena says Luke (she pronounces it like, look) is her friend. She loves to play nerf gun war and be tickled by Dad. She loves her grandmothers, and I'm pretty sure she wonders why she can't live with them instead of the mean lady, me, who makes her clean up and go to bed and  share the toys. 

She likes Minnie Mouse, curious George and Doc Mcstuffins. 

She still speaks mostly Hindi but she is saying a lot of English words, no phrases yet. She loves to say thank you and your welcome. She says amen after we pray. 

She is beautiful y'all! And has the best little smirk and dimple. It's so cute.

Everything is not cute all the time though. We face a battle everyday. She moans in her sleep and wakes up combative at times, sometimes it's like we start over each morning, "hi I'm your mom, remember and  I won't hurt you, you are safe here, we are on your side".  We usually have at least one meltdown a day that causes us to leave where we are and go back home. It's usually because we told her no, like no you can't have chips and ice cream for breakfast, no you can't unplug all the electronics from the sockets, no you can't put the kitchen knives in your backpack! She has boundary issues of not knowing a family shares everything. It's clear that She is used to taking what she wants and fighting for it and manipulating to get the attention she wants.  

It's hard on Vivian who is 10 and feels that her privacy is taken away a little by her new roommate. Luke is frustrated by her not speaking English (he's always the easy going one). And Logan..... A momma's boy who in an instant saw his Momma come home with a new sister his age attached to her hip. I know he doesn't understand the situation much more than Neena does. He sees her getting attention when she cries and he wants to do the same. Why doe he have to share if she doesn't?  They fight all day. Each trying to get the other in trouble. Making mean faces at each other.  Starting next week, they will be sitting across the table from each other at preschool and Logan's teacher thinks he will be able to help her......I am agreeing with that proohecy!  

Neena is full of secrets that she can't verbalize. What happened at the orphanage? What does being an orphan for 5 years do to your heart? How does being abandoned affect your mind? What did she dream having a family would be like? So many secrets and questions. 

So it's still hard after 4 weeks. Just 4 little weeks (says ashley forbes) that's all! That's not enough time! We haven't had time to figure it all out. The kids haven't had time to get it either. But even though we face a battle everyday, I think we have a breakthrough or get closer to a breakthrough each day too. 

The best way I can describe the stage we are in is: uncomfortable. God called us to do something out of our little Quinley bubble of comfort. And it has made us all, me, Erin, Vivi, Luke, Logan and Neena, uncomfortable and it has taken us into unfamiliar territory. There is a lot of resistance here. BUT...isn't it the resistance that makes the butterfly and brings forth life! As a baby in the womb, We can never breathe our first breathe of true life until the pressure builds up and the resistance forces us to gasp for air! 

So we will persevere together as a family and embrace the resistance (the bees Josh Byrd) and discomfort knowing that without it we will never be whole! As a momma, I can't wait to see the beautiful wings it will give my 4 children! And as a disciple of Christ, 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)

Unprepared

I thought I was prepared for this. 

I've had two years to prepare. I've read books, took classes, gotten advice from experienced adoptive parents, I've prayed (dear Lord how I've prayed)....but I'll admit I still was not completely prepared for the rocking of our little world. 

India was amazing and dark all at once. The high of meeting her and holding her in my arms was beyond my expectations! Then the reality of her past and her medical needs hit me hard. I thought we would leave it all behind, that all she needed was a family and somehow that would mend the broken things.

I'll confess that we had a few dark days in India. 

I think we are also mourning our old life a little. It sounds kinda selfish but just grasping the change is hard: no more kangaroos or bounce houses, no more lots of mommy and Logan time, and for a short time no more restful nights or meals without a meltdown or going on field trips with the other kids for a while. 

I also wasn't ready for the physical part of the adoption. Neena only wants me to carry her now and my back is paying the price. Not sleeping, emotionally drained, and back pain makes for a cranky lady. 

In others words, yes I would like some cheese with that whine!!!!

There are moments of bliss, glimpses of a precious promised daughter, of a family chosen for something great by God. But for now we take it day by day. And we pray!

 We pray for rest and a day free of meltdowns and that somehow we will be malleable to the will of God. And we pray for Neena's healing! From the inside out! Their is a lot of spiritual oppression in India and it affected us just the time we were there so I know it has affected her as well.

God has shown me that His Holy Spirit will help us daily as we seek Him in this new chapter.

And He reminds me that He has chosen us for this....we cannot do It on our own but we are called and when He calls, He equips. 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. (1 Peter 2:9-10 NIV)

India days

Despite the broken leg we decided we to do a little sight seeing so we took the 3 hour trip to the Taj Mahal in Agra. We had bought a stroller for her to ride around in. But when we went to put Neena in it she freaked out! Would NOT sit in the thing. So Erin had to carry her through the whole tour with sweat dripping off his face. We were thinking, ok Taj Mahal one of the seven wonders of the world, been there seen it, beautiful....now can we go. Let's just say Neena was not a fan of it so we just wanted to get outta there. Plus I had to pay this lady to use a free toilet just cause I was white and foreign and it was an Indian toilet and I was over it too!! After that we decided most of our sightseeing would be done at the hotel. She was comfortable there and happy and rarely had a meltdown. A few things we learned about India:

It's hot! All the time

No hurry, chicken curry....never in a hurry....ever!!!

You must have a good horn to drive there. They can't help but beep that horn all day.

They have temples for rats and whiskey.

The snake charmers defange the cobras....so we were told. I stood my distance. Erin did not.

Wild monkeys roam the streets.

Indian food is amazing, for the first 4 days, then you just want a cheeseburger and good coffee (yeah they don't drink coffee!!!!)

And my baby girl was soooo ready to leave and start her new life with a family! 

She was literally shaking with excitement in the airport looking at the planes! She was clapping and saying plane go up (in hindi, there's no English here people). She never had a meltdown even on the 15 hour flight! God truly blessed the travel. Never in our lives have Erin and I not missed a flight or had one delayed or cancelled on a trip!! 

When we finally arrived home in mobile, she was initially a little overwhelmed with all the fuss over her but then she just had this peaceful smile and you could tell she was glad to be home! She bonded instantly to her Big sister Vivian. And she would not let go of her hand. She's still a little skeptical of the boys but I think mostly because they are rough and she's kinda fragile. The first night home she slept 14 hours!! 

The first day was a little rough. I think the newness of everything hit her and the jet lag just puts you in a foul mood. So she had a few meltdowns and She really slept most of the first day in addition to the 14 hours she got the night before. So now I'm up with her at 3am playing with literally every toy she sees. My house is chaotic! She is scooting all over the house so she's figured out a way to get around even if she's not able to walk. 

Logan is the most vulnerable at this point. He doesn't really understand and he is a momma's boy so it's tough on me too and I'm sure Neena. 

We are taking it one day at a time and depending on God to provide all we need to make it. I know His plan is perfect, not just for Neena, but for Logan and VIvi and Luke and me and Erin figuring it all out too. 

So far so good today......

A kink in our plans

Our first day together started out great! Neena woke up snugly and in a great mood. I dressed her in a cute outfit and she decided to try to walk on her own. She took a step and fell onto her booty and screamed in pain! She kept crying and screaming "my leg, my leg!" She screamed almost the whole hour while we waited on the driver to take us to the hospital. At one point she fell asleep from exhaustion. 

We head to the max medical clinic which was where we were supposed to go that morning for Neena's tb skin test. Dr. Bhushaun was the pediatrician there and he took an X-ray and sent us to an orthopedist, dr. Bawari, at the hospital. But before we left he went ahead and did the tb screen. It took 3 of us to hold her down for the needle. At that point I was screaming,"don't hold her too tight! She has fragile bones!" She had been screaming and crying the same thing all day and it sounded like she was saying"this is not my mommy, take me back!" So I asked one of he nurses and she said she was saying," mommy let's go! I want to leave this place! Mommy lets go!" Then I cried with her.

Erin asked why I was crying and I couldn't even tell him. I just knew she hated me and thought what a mistake to leave the orphanage but instead she loved us and didn't want us to ever leave her! 

Then she fell asleep and we waited 4 hours to get a splint, not a cast. The X-ray showed at least 4 fractures of the tibia and fibula and they were the old ones that had never healed. 

No sightseeing this day....just 3 exhausted Quinleys! And this is Not the picture from that day but it's just to show that things did get better!

Forever family day

I've wondered how it would go, the day she leaves the orphanage to be with us forever. I prepared myself for crying, screaming, hitting, cold shoulder. But I never thought she would beg to go, Point at the door, Cling so tightly to me. 

We arrived at the orphanage at 10:00 on Friday, 10/10/2014, only to find our social worker "on leave". So we waited for her assistant and she gave us all the paperwork, then we spoke to the doctors at the orphanage that have taken care if her medical since she arrived there. I talked to the doctor who named her. Precious!! Then we waited forever in the office lobby. Finally the assistant said that Simran was at the doctor getting the cast off. Then a while later they come back and say the X-ray show that the cast can't come off and can we come back to get her Monday... Yes! 3 days away! Can we just wait 3 more days??? What??? We said no of course! We told them we will just bring her back Monday for repeat X-ray and take her today with the cast. 

Then we got the famous Indian Head wobble! So we didn't know if that meant ok or no or What? A while later they tell us Simran is back and we go to her room. 

We are surprised to see her cast is off! Yay! But she was having pain and trouble walking. So I had to hold her hands to help and carry her mostly. 

Then we changed her clothes, ate lunch, said goodbyes and walked out the front door with her in our arms! 

Soooo surreal! 

That day we went to the Lodhi gardens And had to find a bathroom and then had to pay to susu (peepee). And she freaked out in the bathroom. She had never used a western toilet! Only Indian toilet which is a hole in the concrete or ground. So that was traumatic slightly! 

Then we went to a restaurant and she ate and ate and ate and ate! 

She loves rice and chocolate! 

We finally made it to the hotel and I decided to give her a bath. There was no bath so shower instead. But as soon as I put her in there she again freaks out!! Like screaming mommy no mommy no! I was pretty sure the police were coming at that point. So I just soaped the body wet the hair and done!!

She had only had sponge baths so shower was too much!! 

We all snuggled on the bed that night and dreamed of the future we would have! 

Happy forever family day Simran Neena Quinley

Gotcha days!!

I know one day I'll forget how everything went with meeting our baby girl Simran Neena, so I'm writing this so we never do. 

October 7th- flew 20 something hours from Mobile to Delhi. Truly blessed with no real delays or missed connections! Only hiccup was the sweet young girl sitting next to me on the long fight to delhi that hurled the whole last hour of the trip. Ew! 

October 8th- arrived in Delhi and checked into hotel.

October 9th- couldn't sleep, so we woke up at 5am and paced the floor the next 3 1/2 hours until our driver came to take us to the orphanage!! It only took about 30 minutes to get there but it was long enough for the motion sickness to settle in and distract me from the knot in my stomach. Fortunately I did not have the same fate as the girl on the plane and kept my breakfast to myself..ew! First thing I saw was a wicker bassinet on the sidewalk which is what the orphanage, Palna, is named for; Palna means cradle. Broke my heart right there and jerked the knot from my stomach to my throat. So nervous! Will she like us? Will she want to leave? Will she scream & cry? 

We walk in and our social worker says we weren't expecting you until tomorrow! So we left.... Um... No way! We asked to see her and we would still come tomorrow. So they brought her to us! I was so happy to see and touch the face of the daughter I had loved from afar for so long that I did not cry! There were no tears. I was just happy! She came right to me and I hugged her and the best part, she hugged me back! So we all played and painted (she loved painting this airplane thing and she didn't want my help) and made bracelets for the next few hours. It was just relaxing and comfortable. Then Simran showed us around the orphanage. She still had her bright blue cast on and we had to carry her. 

In the toddler room a sweet angel baby bit my leg.....yes he did! So even in india they have terrible 2s and 3s!!! Every time I saw him later I would keep my distance. Mouths are nasty y'all! We took her to her room where she sleeps. The kids started taking off my jewelry and brushing my hair and Simran got mad! She was telling them get away from my mom. Stop touching her! That's my moms! she did not want us to put her down or leave her side. and she kept pointing to the door, to leave the orphanage. This child was ready to go!! 

But they wouldn't let us take her so we left the orphanage and she was upset and that was hard! 

We grabbed some good Indian food, bought an Indian outfit for her and crashed at the hotel by 8pm. 

God truly answered our prayer to prepare her heart for her family! 

Now she had one more night in that orphanage!! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow!!!

The final countdown

4 days! Four days??? We leave in 4 days! 

Headed 8,000 plus miles across the ocean to take hold of a promise fulfilled! 

When you have been dreaming and praying and working and hoping (reminds me of that song on my best friends wedding with Julia Roberts! Wishin and hopin and thinking and prayin....Why does everything remind me of Julia!?) anyway, I was saying....waiting so long for this thing that seems so crazy and out of reach and then suddenly....you have 4 days until it's reality! 

I told a friend that I feel very "zombieish". Just kind of walking around in a daze. And very nostalgic! My kids start playing and everything goes into slow motion with sappy music and then I cry! I look at Logan and think of how his life will probably change the most. I start thinking how he wasn't born a twin but will now have a sister his same age and when he's sixteen she will be too and they will graduate together and.....well then I cry some more! 

So think of a weepy, nostalgic, zombie mom and that would be me right now! 

I dream of touching her face.

I have visions of us sitting on the floor playing barbies with her best friend Kiriti! 

I can almost feel her small hand in mine. 

And next week we will walk through the next chapter of the Neena plan and bring her home! 

I am going to try to update as much as possible! See ya on the India side! 

P.S. If you see me around town in the next 4 days, please point me in the right direction and help a zombie out!

Lessons from a first time adopter

Adoption is so awesome!  It's a calling!  It's......well.....it's hard! It's a roller coaster of love! But it's hard! 

Here are some things that happen when you adopt (and we haven't faced the potential challenges that will come when she's home....hahahahahah (mad hatter laugh)):

1. You don't sleep...unless it's 3:00 in the afternoon and your body just collapses!

2. You become a hypochondriac, knowing you must have a pulmonary embolus, DVT, brain aneurysm, or heart attack every time your anxiety level reaches the point you have shortness of breath and chest pain and cramps in your leg. 

3. You don't sleep, because you know you'll surely die from your blood clot in the middle of the night

4. You can't stop talking and thinking about your adopted child and have to consciously remind yourself to focus on the present and the children you have in your arms. 

5. You eat! A lot! A lot of chocolate! 

6. you stalk Indian people

7. You dye your hair to be more indian, you cook Indian food, you watch 3 hour long Bollywood movies  constantly,  you learn hindi.....you become Indian!!

8. Your brain is MUSH

9. You realize that your adoption is not the only one and the world doesn't revolve around it, and so you stay frustrated because no one else seems to think your child being without a mother is an emergency!! When in fact, it is an emergency!!

10. Your husband thinks you are crazy! 

11. You cry....a lot!.....while you eat cookie dough ice cream! 

12. You realize alot about about yourself and your relationship with God. You realize: you like to get your way and you secretly think God's way wasn't as good as yours, you learn to trust God completely, you learn how to lose control instead of take control.

13. Your vision changes. You see people differently, you see children differently, you pray for the nations more. 

And I would do it all over again if I had to!!

Adoption is awesome! It is a calling! And it is hard! 

These children are worth the wait! How blessed we are that God is near to us in our waiting! 

Now, I'm going to eat some raw cookie dough and watch Vivah one more time!!

Due date!!

You know how when you are pregnant we all ask, "when are you due?". We'll for the past 30 months we've been asked, "when are you going?, when do you travel?, Is she home yet?". There were some days, I admit, when that question was like nails on a chalk board to me. But from this point out we have a due date! A travel date!! 

We were approved to be in India October 10th! 10/10/2014! So in LESS than 4 weeks we will be knocking on the door to the orphanage! I'll be touching HER face! We will be laughing together! We will cry together! Ok, maybe just I will cry.....a lot! I hope it's only me crying! 

I was so excited this week when I found out our travel date that the bad news didn't really phase me until later. 

Bad news is that Simran Neena broke her leg! Playground injury is what we are told. It sure sounds a lot like a "Luke" story. For those of you who know my monkey boy Luke, he's had several broken bones and none of us ever know the real story!!  We were told she was being "naughty". But surely that means just being a 4 year old and a Quinley! She gets it honest! 

I don't know how bad it was or when she will get the cast off, but rest assured that this momma is seeking information about that! Considering my oldest, Vivian is just a few months out from breaking her leg, this is nothing new! It does hurt my heart to think she is so far away with a cast and no mommy to kiss her bobo or sign her cast, or prop her foot up and get her a movie going and a snack! But somehow it's ok. I have a peace about our travel and this broken leg and our future together. We are praying & trusting God that she won't have to travel 15 hours back on a plane with a leg cast! 

Friday, September 12th, she will have taken her picture for her passport and the application will be submitted. We do still need that passport to come in by October 10th.....but I truly believe it will come in plenty of time! 

We have been blessed by so many loving friends and family recently! You are all part of this journey with us! We are going to try to keep updating while we are in India and back home too! Everyone who ever said a prayer for Simran Neena or encouraged us along the way, we thank God for you. Now let's pray broken bones back together! And passports processed! And families together at last! 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)

One more thing

Well as of now, we are waiting for only ONE more thing! Only one thing holding us back from jumping on the next flight to India and wrapping my arms around this child of my heart!! We are now waiting for her passport. Who knows how long it will take! September 13th will be a year since we saw her face for the first time. I never thought it would take us another year to bring her home. But we have a perfect peace about it! It won't be long y'all!!! 

So I'm packing and nesting and we are preparing for our daughter's homecoming!! And I'm using a lot of exclamation points cause I'm so excited!!

We have had two opportunities to Skype with her recently and it was so amazing! It felt like home; like she knows me and I know her! Her voice just sounds familiar and her face like I've seen it every morning for my whole life! I can't explain it all but it's just amazing. Our kids adore her and are so proud of her for being so brave to want to travel 8,000 miles and leave her friends to be their sister! 

I'm suddenly freaking out that I don't  have everything together, like I don't know enough hindi and what if she doesn't like me! But God's got this and he has made me ready and who cares if we don't have it all together! No one ever does really. 

There's only one thing left and all my check boxes, and all the obstacles, will be GONE! And I'll be flying East......

Thanks for your prayers, keep em coming! We are almost there!

Skype high and a low blow

On August 19th at 1am we skyped with Simran Neena! It was amazing! The first spoken conversation between our daughter and her family. And it felt like I knew her. It felt like "why aren't you here?". 

She is so beautiful y'all! 

She had a little sparkly headband in her hair and a shirt will ruffled sleeves. She sang us songs, and they said she loves to sing and dance! She sang twinkle twinkle little star and abcs and a few hindi songs. Her voice is raspy and sweet. And wow, is she smart! She already knows her abcs, how to count to 10, days of the week, and months of the year and all that in her second language, English!!!! 

She blew us kisses over and over! 

She asked when we were coming ? And she said to come soon! 

She told us she missed us and that when we come to india "we will enjoy together"!! 

Of course, after the Skype call I couldn't sleep for the next few hours. We emailed the orphanage to see when travel would be likely in their opinion. And that's when we got the low blow.....mid November was their answer.

Then all the wind got sucked out of me!

 3 more months?? What happened to 4 weeks? And I just thought...I can't.....I can't believe November....I won't accept November. 

Her birthday is in October and last year I told her it was her last birthday without her family. I just can't do November!!!! 

 I know it is soooo close! But this momma's heart aches each day that goes by without her in my arms. She is a missing piece to our family puzzle. And it seems the closer it gets, the harder the waiting. 

So I'm drawing a circle around September!!! 

I'm Praying that September is Gods perfect time to bring us together. 

Jesus said that Our Heavenly Father is good and that if we ask for bread, he won't give us a stone. I will ask for September, that will be the bread. I will trust in Gods perfect timing but I will still ask for bread!!! And I will also plan another Skype date very soon!

Be expecting an update in September about traveling to India!!! 

God is so good! 

And the verdict is........

Approved!!

Petition granted!!!

We have the judges approval! 

We could fly to india right now and scoop her up and ride off into the sunset. 

But we would have to stay in india until her passports comes in. This could take 2 weeks or 2 months. So we wait some more.......it's getting old, I know! We wait for the official court orders so that they CAN apply for Simran Neena's passport. We have to have the formal court documents to move any further with travel. But Then.....we are leaving on a jet plane baby!!!

This morning I feel like I did when I was pregnant with Vivian and they told me I was dilated 3cm! I feel, Just excited, with the finish line in site. It's gonna be scary and unfamiliar and painful at times, just like giving birth. But we are doing what we are called to do; What God has chosen us to do; What God has chosen Simran Neena for! 

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. (John 15:16 NIV)"

So now we are praying for the court documents, so called "written orders", to be drawn up quickly. And for no delays with her passport!! Thank you for your prayers and concern! 

Her day in court

Well we had our next court date on Monday, July 21st. Well not "we" since we are not in India, but our case went to court. And who was there to represent us??? Simran Neena!! That's right! Little Miss Simran went with the attorney to the court to stand before the judge on our behalf! I can just see her in little red shoes, marveling at the big city and getting shy when the judge talks to her. The judge will review everything on Saturday, July 26th and hopefully give us his verbal approval. And he has requested Simran Neena to come with them on Saturday! I'm hopeful he CAN'T say no to those big beautiful eyes of hers! 

Please continue to pray with us. Praying now for the verbal approval saturday, her passport to come quickly & a court date to travel! 

It's finally happening!!

It's time to make a packing list..........

Court is in Session!

No we are NOT in India!! Buuuuuuttttt..........Due to the excellent investigative skills of a fellow adopting mom we are tracking our court case in India! So far we know that we were entered into the system June 5th, 2014. We had our first hearing yesterday July 3rd which was a "petition for scrutiny" (whatever that means) and we were granted the next step which Is the "petition for evidence". I don't really know what it all means except it is putting us one step closer to starting another amazing journey with a new daughter!!!! So our next court case is July 21, 2014. I'm not sure if that is when we get the  judges verbal approval and then travel and finalize it or if we need another court date after July 21 to get an approval???    So if you aren't confused yet, sorry...I am confused!! But a wonderful hopeful confusion. 

So what I know, is that when we have the judge's verbal approval, they order her passport which typically takes 4-6 weeks. And when they have her passport, THAT is when we will fly to India and shed alot of tears and do a lot of hugging with little miss Simran Neena Quinley!!! I can't explain the peace in this frustrating storm that God has given us and the financial blessings and the open doors! What a privilege to serve emmanuel, God who is with us and helps us! 

Please pray for the judge and for a YES! And for Simran's heart and our other kid's hearts to be prepared for this growing family. 

Psalm 105 "make known among the nations what God has done"!

Ain't no party like a NOC party!

I'm sure the neighbors wondered what was happening this morning at the Quinley house when they heard screams at 7am!!! Well, me and the kids were having a NOC party! That's right.............

I got a text from my adoption agent to check my email and there it was! That precious little paper that we were told we would have in 2-3 weeks but waited 6 weeks for and were preparing ourselves to wait much longer for. That is the LAST piece of paper we wait for. We have filled out & signed & notarized & waited for enough papers to kill a forest! And my small group friends will attest that Erin & I were just at that point of giving in to the discouragement of waiting. We have gotten let down so many times. We know God is in control of this & we know to put our hope in him....but our emotions have gotten the best of us lately. Our emotions will do that ya know. And when you get so emotional it's sometimes hard to really hear from God. 

Someone once told me: don't follow your heart, lead your heart! 

So here we go again, waiting for a court date and her passport and a travel date. This will most likely be another few months of waiting, unless the Fathers plan is for next month, which would be fine with me (hahaha)! 

But for today, we WILL celebrate! We Will give thanks and praise to God for bringing justice to orphans and favor to us! So if you see me around town spinning and singing "pink ponies happy skies"! It's cause we got the NOC today and there ain't no party like a NOC party! 

Thanks for your prayers and all the encouragement! 

Lets bring this baby Home!!!!!

My way or the highway!

We are still in the same spot....waiting....Basically still waiting on the NOC and a court date. And I should be happy that we are to this point after over two years of waiting. But I expected the NOC this week. And we didn't get it this week! That was MY way and MY plan. Don't they know that MY way is best?!! And then I threw a little ungrateful tantrum this week when I didn't get my way. So my word of the month is grateful. How to be grateful when things don't go your way!! When you realize that actually GOD'S way is best, not mine! 

Have you ever heard of the story of Jonah? Probably so, you know, 3 days in the belly of a whale. If its been awhile you could read the whole 4 chapters over lunch easy. But at the end of that story, Jonah doesn't get his way and he pitches a little fit. And he pouts. Crosses his arms, plops on the ground and pouts. (I did that this week) What is interesting is, God provides a shade tree to make his tantrum more comfortable!! No lightning from heaven or fireballs! God literally grew a tree in an instant. Then he took it away! And Jonah's like, "hey that was my shade tree,"!

The point: God made Simran & has taken excellent care of her for 4 years without my help. It was He who called us to adopt and open this Door of blessing. It's NOT my shade tree! In fact it wasn't even my idea! So GOD'S way is best! He is in control! I'm just supposed to be grateful! Just enjoy the blessings in the midst of the struggle. God understands it's hard, we may need a good meltdown, or tantrum every now and then.

So I'm grateful today. The waiting is still not easy. But neither is trusting God. But if I'm gonna have to work at something, it will be the trusting! And when I feel my arms crossing & my bottom lip pouting when things don't go my way, i'll think of Jonah & that shade tree & ill be reminded....be grateful!

Thank you for your prayers! Please continue to pray for Simran Neena's heart to be prepared for her family. And for God's perfect timing for the completion of this adoption. And thank Him for a swift receipt of this NOC & court date! 

Checking off the list

I am a list maker. I have many lists. Though, The enjoyment is not in making the list. It's the checking it off that gives me a thrill! Let me just tell you that when this adoption process started February 2012, there were loooong lists involved. And it's down to about 4 things on the list as of this morning. This week We got our Indian visas and this morning got the Article 5!!!!! 

And the official article 5 letter says:

Legal custody of Simran to be granted to Ernest & Nikki Quinley. 

Thats right!! If that's not clear, I don't know what is. 

But I have a confession to make: The last few weeks have been rough. We've had delays & frustrations with the adoption galore! I have been a stressed mess! And let's just say, the momma bear came out of me! My friends at work know first hand, we've been calling and on hold for hours, emailing, calling india in the wee hours of daylight, mailing documents and tears have been shed!!! But I realized that, this is what momma's do! We fight for our kids! We listen to our spider senses ( I mean mommy senses) until we figure out the problem. Simran Neena has never had a mom & dad to fight for her!! But she does now! And I'm so thankful for friends and family who are encouraging us and excited about this! Prayers are needed right now to get us across the finish line!

So we hope that Gods perfect plan keeps this train moving quickly over the next few weeks and that a court date will be in the works very soon! 

God the Farmer

I've had a lot of people ask why we chose to adopt or why we chose india? This particular post is to share how our family was called to adopt.

so why would we adopt and why, of all places, India?? The truth is, I don't have a great logical explanation. That's just the seed God planted! 

 I have always heard about God the Father, but God the farmer is a new realization for me. Actually, I just kind of realized it about 2 days ago.  Many of my family & friends already know that Erin & I are high school sweethearts and always wanted to adopt "in theory", since we were teenagers. Well In 2002, we were engaged to marry and we felt led to sponsor a child through compassion international. So we chose a 5 year old girl from Bolivia South America named Celina! Now I've never really thought this was significant with adoption but it absolutely is! Our Neena is almost 5 and the names are pretty similar Celina, Neena! But the main thing is the seed! The seed God planted for adoption & orphans started long ago. The past 12 years we've written to Celina, sent gifts, and even went to Bolivia to visit her & her family in 2009 (which happens to be when Neena was born in India- it's blowing my mind!!). That seed God planted was growing! He was watering and nurturing that seed to grow! Now Celina is almost 17 & will graduate from compassion program this year. And as our precious Celina leaves our nest, Neena will enter! 

God is the Farmer who plants seeds, causes them to grow & germinate at just the right time. Then before you realize it, you start to see a bloom! That thing you've always felt deep inside, that God dream you've been longing for, the thing you've been waiting and waiting and waiting for...... it will bloom!

One thing we have always prayed for, not knowing how it would play into the new seed analogy, is that God would plant a seed in Neena's heart for a family! all this time waiting for her, I have no doubt the farmer has been diligently planting and grooming that seed in her own heart! 

I don't have much of a green thumb but hopefully my life is fertile soil for the Farmer to grow many more things. But for today I am thankful for the blooms I see through this adoption! 

I would encourage you that if you have a heart for orphans or adoption, to think about supporting an orphanage or volunteering at a local orphanage OR sponsor a child! I have personal experience with compassion international and it has been wonderful! 

Feed the seed God planted in you!

Read it and Weep!

Read it & weep! And that's exactly what happened on 2/26/14! I got an email from the USCIS which is the immigration department of the US & they have approved EveRYTHing!!!! (In adoption terms that's the I800). And At the end of the email it said, "best wishes and safe travels". And I read it and wept! Tears of joy down my freshly powdered face. I wept because it's been two years of waiting and I wept because "safe travels" means we are traveling soon!!! Realistically, June, but Hopefully much sooner! Notice the capital H in Hopefully! Fortunately for us, hope is our reality! We Hope when things don't go our way, when we have to wait, when nothing makes sense and when things look hopeless aaaand ....we hope when we are sent an email wishing us safe travels! 

So, whats next? Getting 3 visas for 3 Quinley's: mommy, daddy & Simran Neena Quinley!

Thanks for the many prayers!

Timeline

A lot of fellow adoptees wanted to know our timeline so here it is so far:

October 2009- Simran Neena born in Delhi, India

November 2011- search for adoption agency begin

February 2012- paper pregnancy begins!

September 13, 2013- received referral on Simran & see her picture for the first time!

September 18, 2013- verbal acceptance of referral

September 19, 2013- letters of appeal because of age difference between Logan & Simran sent to CARA 

October 7, 2013- first package sent to Simran- birthday present!

October 22, 2013- referral accepted & match approved by CARA in India (Simran's 4th birthday & birthday package received!)

November 20, 2013- received MER & CSR from India 

December 5, 2013- second package sent to Simran- Christmas present & photo book! 

December 23, 2013- Guardianship papers (MER, CSR) & updated home study sent back to India (Christmas package received)

January 3, 2014- Begin filing new I-800

January 21, 2014- mailed I-800 to USCIS in Texas

February 4, 2014- third package sent to Simran- valentines!

February 14, 2014- valentine package received 

February 26, 2014- I-800, I-800A Supplement 3 approved!

March 5, 2014- NVC sent adoption application to US embassy in Delhi

March 10, 2014- Indian Visa application sent to Indian Embassy in Atlanta

March 13, 2014- 6 month mark since referral for Simran received and huge crisis averted when the NVC lost then found our application after about a 9 day delay!!! (My work peeps can verify some on hold pacing and crying was going on!)

March 19, 2014- recieved our Indian Visas

March 21, 2014- Article 5 letter

May 1, 2014- NOC from CARA in India

June 5,2014- registered in India court system

July 3, 2014- 1st court date (petition for scrutiny)

July 21, 2014- 2nd court date (petition for evidence)

July 26, 2014- 3rd court date (verbal approval!!!)

August 11, 2014- written orders (not notified until August 31st)

August 19, 2014- first skype date!!!!

August 31, 2014- Skype date #2!! Also found out we had written orders and everything ready to apply for passport

*****Sometime between September 1st and September 8th Simran breaks her leg :(  

September 8, 2014- Applied for Simran's Indian passport this week, not sure exact date

September 16, 2014- Booked plane tickets to India leaving October 7th...aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! And Simran's get well package sent! Did I mention we booked plane tickets today?!!

October 7th- Leave for Delhi

October 9th- visit the orphanage in Delhi and meet Neena for the first time!!!!!

October 10th, 2014- gotcha day!!!

October 16th- leave delhi

October 17th- Forever a Family day!!!! Home sweet home 

If this is discouraging, don't let it be!!!! God is able to move things faster or delay things that are needed! In the beginning i knew there would be delays, and albeit frustrating, God still holds timing in His hands. In all things he is working & not just working, but working them out for your good! All things in His perfect timing!