Friday, March 20, 2015

5 months is all it took

It only took 5 months for the newness to wear off. It finally feels like its normal for Neena to be just a daughter and sister in the Quinley house! So we are in the zone of life with 4 kids. Just surviving ball practices and errands and family life! 
So now that we are normal, our life is pretty boring. 
She no longer has bad dreams and screams in the middle of the night...she rests peacefully!
She has learned to accept discipline better and we don't have screaming fits with the word no!
She loooves being the center of attention now instead of shutting down in public (which is getting on her brother and sisters nerves)!
She can pee in a western toilet without fear of being sucked down into the black hole!! 
She  loves the water, bath, showers and swimming pool....I mean I will never forget the blood curdling screams in india when I tried to put her in the shower and having to sponge bathe her from a bucket the first month or two she was home!! 
She eats anything....except bacon?? Go figure! Since I got pretty good at chaval and daal the first few months home, I am kinda sad she doesn't want it anymore!
So just your typical family here! 
But there are times when I still find myself just staring at her hands and feet and holding her tightly as I remember how we longed to hold her in our arms for so long! 
And sometimes my heart still aches to have known her as a baby. What I wouldn't give to have held her when she was a newborn and reassure her that she was wanted. Or to have seen her first steps and heard her first word and teach her that mama and dada should be in her vocabulary. 
Now that the initial chaos is over, this month more than any other, I have found myself going there....for better or worse, thinking about the missed years and her birth parents and their story and all the unknowns around it all. I keep seeing this sassy, outgoing,"in it to win it" 5 year old at 5 days old left alone, crying and cold in the street. It's destroys me for a moment! 
But then I see this sassy, outgoing, "in it to win it" 5 year old beauty who has survived! She was loved by some amazing people at the orphanage and we get to love her and care for her the rest of our lives!
She is changing this family! We are all being made new and learning about true love and redemption! 
Keep making us new in every way possible Jesus!! 

You called me out upon the waters...........