A kink in our plans

Our first day together started out great! Neena woke up snugly and in a great mood. I dressed her in a cute outfit and she decided to try to walk on her own. She took a step and fell onto her booty and screamed in pain! She kept crying and screaming "my leg, my leg!" She screamed almost the whole hour while we waited on the driver to take us to the hospital. At one point she fell asleep from exhaustion. 

We head to the max medical clinic which was where we were supposed to go that morning for Neena's tb skin test. Dr. Bhushaun was the pediatrician there and he took an X-ray and sent us to an orthopedist, dr. Bawari, at the hospital. But before we left he went ahead and did the tb screen. It took 3 of us to hold her down for the needle. At that point I was screaming,"don't hold her too tight! She has fragile bones!" She had been screaming and crying the same thing all day and it sounded like she was saying"this is not my mommy, take me back!" So I asked one of he nurses and she said she was saying," mommy let's go! I want to leave this place! Mommy lets go!" Then I cried with her.

Erin asked why I was crying and I couldn't even tell him. I just knew she hated me and thought what a mistake to leave the orphanage but instead she loved us and didn't want us to ever leave her! 

Then she fell asleep and we waited 4 hours to get a splint, not a cast. The X-ray showed at least 4 fractures of the tibia and fibula and they were the old ones that had never healed. 

No sightseeing this day....just 3 exhausted Quinleys! And this is Not the picture from that day but it's just to show that things did get better!

Forever family day

I've wondered how it would go, the day she leaves the orphanage to be with us forever. I prepared myself for crying, screaming, hitting, cold shoulder. But I never thought she would beg to go, Point at the door, Cling so tightly to me. 

We arrived at the orphanage at 10:00 on Friday, 10/10/2014, only to find our social worker "on leave". So we waited for her assistant and she gave us all the paperwork, then we spoke to the doctors at the orphanage that have taken care if her medical since she arrived there. I talked to the doctor who named her. Precious!! Then we waited forever in the office lobby. Finally the assistant said that Simran was at the doctor getting the cast off. Then a while later they come back and say the X-ray show that the cast can't come off and can we come back to get her Monday... Yes! 3 days away! Can we just wait 3 more days??? What??? We said no of course! We told them we will just bring her back Monday for repeat X-ray and take her today with the cast. 

Then we got the famous Indian Head wobble! So we didn't know if that meant ok or no or What? A while later they tell us Simran is back and we go to her room. 

We are surprised to see her cast is off! Yay! But she was having pain and trouble walking. So I had to hold her hands to help and carry her mostly. 

Then we changed her clothes, ate lunch, said goodbyes and walked out the front door with her in our arms! 

Soooo surreal! 

That day we went to the Lodhi gardens And had to find a bathroom and then had to pay to susu (peepee). And she freaked out in the bathroom. She had never used a western toilet! Only Indian toilet which is a hole in the concrete or ground. So that was traumatic slightly! 

Then we went to a restaurant and she ate and ate and ate and ate! 

She loves rice and chocolate! 

We finally made it to the hotel and I decided to give her a bath. There was no bath so shower instead. But as soon as I put her in there she again freaks out!! Like screaming mommy no mommy no! I was pretty sure the police were coming at that point. So I just soaped the body wet the hair and done!!

She had only had sponge baths so shower was too much!! 

We all snuggled on the bed that night and dreamed of the future we would have! 

Happy forever family day Simran Neena Quinley

Gotcha days!!

I know one day I'll forget how everything went with meeting our baby girl Simran Neena, so I'm writing this so we never do. 

October 7th- flew 20 something hours from Mobile to Delhi. Truly blessed with no real delays or missed connections! Only hiccup was the sweet young girl sitting next to me on the long fight to delhi that hurled the whole last hour of the trip. Ew! 

October 8th- arrived in Delhi and checked into hotel.

October 9th- couldn't sleep, so we woke up at 5am and paced the floor the next 3 1/2 hours until our driver came to take us to the orphanage!! It only took about 30 minutes to get there but it was long enough for the motion sickness to settle in and distract me from the knot in my stomach. Fortunately I did not have the same fate as the girl on the plane and kept my breakfast to myself..ew! First thing I saw was a wicker bassinet on the sidewalk which is what the orphanage, Palna, is named for; Palna means cradle. Broke my heart right there and jerked the knot from my stomach to my throat. So nervous! Will she like us? Will she want to leave? Will she scream & cry? 

We walk in and our social worker says we weren't expecting you until tomorrow! So we left.... Um... No way! We asked to see her and we would still come tomorrow. So they brought her to us! I was so happy to see and touch the face of the daughter I had loved from afar for so long that I did not cry! There were no tears. I was just happy! She came right to me and I hugged her and the best part, she hugged me back! So we all played and painted (she loved painting this airplane thing and she didn't want my help) and made bracelets for the next few hours. It was just relaxing and comfortable. Then Simran showed us around the orphanage. She still had her bright blue cast on and we had to carry her. 

In the toddler room a sweet angel baby bit my leg.....yes he did! So even in india they have terrible 2s and 3s!!! Every time I saw him later I would keep my distance. Mouths are nasty y'all! We took her to her room where she sleeps. The kids started taking off my jewelry and brushing my hair and Simran got mad! She was telling them get away from my mom. Stop touching her! That's my moms! she did not want us to put her down or leave her side. and she kept pointing to the door, to leave the orphanage. This child was ready to go!! 

But they wouldn't let us take her so we left the orphanage and she was upset and that was hard! 

We grabbed some good Indian food, bought an Indian outfit for her and crashed at the hotel by 8pm. 

God truly answered our prayer to prepare her heart for her family! 

Now she had one more night in that orphanage!! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow!!!

The final countdown

4 days! Four days??? We leave in 4 days! 

Headed 8,000 plus miles across the ocean to take hold of a promise fulfilled! 

When you have been dreaming and praying and working and hoping (reminds me of that song on my best friends wedding with Julia Roberts! Wishin and hopin and thinking and prayin....Why does everything remind me of Julia!?) anyway, I was saying....waiting so long for this thing that seems so crazy and out of reach and then suddenly....you have 4 days until it's reality! 

I told a friend that I feel very "zombieish". Just kind of walking around in a daze. And very nostalgic! My kids start playing and everything goes into slow motion with sappy music and then I cry! I look at Logan and think of how his life will probably change the most. I start thinking how he wasn't born a twin but will now have a sister his same age and when he's sixteen she will be too and they will graduate together and.....well then I cry some more! 

So think of a weepy, nostalgic, zombie mom and that would be me right now! 

I dream of touching her face.

I have visions of us sitting on the floor playing barbies with her best friend Kiriti! 

I can almost feel her small hand in mine. 

And next week we will walk through the next chapter of the Neena plan and bring her home! 

I am going to try to update as much as possible! See ya on the India side! 

P.S. If you see me around town in the next 4 days, please point me in the right direction and help a zombie out!

Lessons from a first time adopter

Adoption is so awesome!  It's a calling!  It's......well.....it's hard! It's a roller coaster of love! But it's hard! 

Here are some things that happen when you adopt (and we haven't faced the potential challenges that will come when she's home....hahahahahah (mad hatter laugh)):

1. You don't sleep...unless it's 3:00 in the afternoon and your body just collapses!

2. You become a hypochondriac, knowing you must have a pulmonary embolus, DVT, brain aneurysm, or heart attack every time your anxiety level reaches the point you have shortness of breath and chest pain and cramps in your leg. 

3. You don't sleep, because you know you'll surely die from your blood clot in the middle of the night

4. You can't stop talking and thinking about your adopted child and have to consciously remind yourself to focus on the present and the children you have in your arms. 

5. You eat! A lot! A lot of chocolate! 

6. you stalk Indian people

7. You dye your hair to be more indian, you cook Indian food, you watch 3 hour long Bollywood movies  constantly,  you learn hindi.....you become Indian!!

8. Your brain is MUSH

9. You realize that your adoption is not the only one and the world doesn't revolve around it, and so you stay frustrated because no one else seems to think your child being without a mother is an emergency!! When in fact, it is an emergency!!

10. Your husband thinks you are crazy! 

11. You cry....a lot!.....while you eat cookie dough ice cream! 

12. You realize alot about about yourself and your relationship with God. You realize: you like to get your way and you secretly think God's way wasn't as good as yours, you learn to trust God completely, you learn how to lose control instead of take control.

13. Your vision changes. You see people differently, you see children differently, you pray for the nations more. 

And I would do it all over again if I had to!!

Adoption is awesome! It is a calling! And it is hard! 

These children are worth the wait! How blessed we are that God is near to us in our waiting! 

Now, I'm going to eat some raw cookie dough and watch Vivah one more time!!

Due date!!

You know how when you are pregnant we all ask, "when are you due?". We'll for the past 30 months we've been asked, "when are you going?, when do you travel?, Is she home yet?". There were some days, I admit, when that question was like nails on a chalk board to me. But from this point out we have a due date! A travel date!! 

We were approved to be in India October 10th! 10/10/2014! So in LESS than 4 weeks we will be knocking on the door to the orphanage! I'll be touching HER face! We will be laughing together! We will cry together! Ok, maybe just I will cry.....a lot! I hope it's only me crying! 

I was so excited this week when I found out our travel date that the bad news didn't really phase me until later. 

Bad news is that Simran Neena broke her leg! Playground injury is what we are told. It sure sounds a lot like a "Luke" story. For those of you who know my monkey boy Luke, he's had several broken bones and none of us ever know the real story!!  We were told she was being "naughty". But surely that means just being a 4 year old and a Quinley! She gets it honest! 

I don't know how bad it was or when she will get the cast off, but rest assured that this momma is seeking information about that! Considering my oldest, Vivian is just a few months out from breaking her leg, this is nothing new! It does hurt my heart to think she is so far away with a cast and no mommy to kiss her bobo or sign her cast, or prop her foot up and get her a movie going and a snack! But somehow it's ok. I have a peace about our travel and this broken leg and our future together. We are praying & trusting God that she won't have to travel 15 hours back on a plane with a leg cast! 

Friday, September 12th, she will have taken her picture for her passport and the application will be submitted. We do still need that passport to come in by October 10th.....but I truly believe it will come in plenty of time! 

We have been blessed by so many loving friends and family recently! You are all part of this journey with us! We are going to try to keep updating while we are in India and back home too! Everyone who ever said a prayer for Simran Neena or encouraged us along the way, we thank God for you. Now let's pray broken bones back together! And passports processed! And families together at last! 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)

One more thing

Well as of now, we are waiting for only ONE more thing! Only one thing holding us back from jumping on the next flight to India and wrapping my arms around this child of my heart!! We are now waiting for her passport. Who knows how long it will take! September 13th will be a year since we saw her face for the first time. I never thought it would take us another year to bring her home. But we have a perfect peace about it! It won't be long y'all!!! 

So I'm packing and nesting and we are preparing for our daughter's homecoming!! And I'm using a lot of exclamation points cause I'm so excited!!

We have had two opportunities to Skype with her recently and it was so amazing! It felt like home; like she knows me and I know her! Her voice just sounds familiar and her face like I've seen it every morning for my whole life! I can't explain it all but it's just amazing. Our kids adore her and are so proud of her for being so brave to want to travel 8,000 miles and leave her friends to be their sister! 

I'm suddenly freaking out that I don't  have everything together, like I don't know enough hindi and what if she doesn't like me! But God's got this and he has made me ready and who cares if we don't have it all together! No one ever does really. 

There's only one thing left and all my check boxes, and all the obstacles, will be GONE! And I'll be flying East......

Thanks for your prayers, keep em coming! We are almost there!