Whirlwind....roller coaster...adventure....these words come to mind to describe the past 11 months!
I think we have all settled in at least. It only took a year and I'm pretty sure we need another 11 months to complete the adjustment!
I never thought in a million years it would be this hard. I don't know why bringing home a daughter that's 5 instead of a newborn is hard but I'm telling you, it is! Neena has been so awesome! I mean she hasn't looked back from the moment we caught each other's eye in India! The connection I felt those first few hours with her are feelings i will never forget. It's just like the feelings of holding your newborn baby in your arms and seeing their face for the first time. We just knew and it was like we breathed a sigh of relief and said in perfect harmony, "finally!". We were complete!
But India and fractures and attachment issues and sibling rivalry and selfishness and just the uncertainty and unknown, has a way of taking your Calgon away.
I was so connected to Neena in my heart from the moment we saw her file, before we had even seen her face! I just knew that we wouldn't have any problems and we would love each other and she would be perfect and I would be perfect and our perfectness would make the world perfect! So I skipped over the chapters in my adoption books about behaviors like manipulation and rebellion and attachment issues. Oops! No worries though, we are reading them and rereading them and audio booking them now!
Most of the time we are good but there are times that we don't want to deal with the behaviors caused by years of abandonment. We get tired and just want it to be easy, natural! And There are many times I feel completely inadequate to care for her. I'm too strict, too harsh, not affectionate enough, not understanding, not protective enough... So it's hard. But we signed up for hard....or I guess God signed us up for hard and we said yes! It's not easy being a parent period. Someone once told me that it's easy to be a bad parent but to be a good parent is hard!
Neena is no doubt a Quinley, MY daughter, meant to be here, destined for greatness! She is super sassy and protective of others and bossy and hyper and...the list goes on and on! In fact, Vivian asked me what she was like when she was a baby (what Vivian was like not Neena). So I told her sassy, bossy, hyper and happy and Vivian said, "you just described Neena!".
So We are all in this together! And in a week we will go to court to finally get a certificate that says Neena is officially Simran Neena Quinley!
And you aren't even ready for the 1 year HOMEversary party that's gonna go down!
I'm gonna give you a hint....M-I-C-K-E-Y!!
