In 4 weeks she has embraced Mexican food & pizza, tried a burger, though she was not a fan, likes sweet tea, can say "roll tide" and has learned to blame everything on Logan! Literally if she hears a sound that sounds like something broke or fell she immediately screams, Logan!! She is very attached to Vivi, her second momma, Especially at night. If vivi wants to stay up Neena will cry for vivi to come to bed until she does. Neena says Luke (she pronounces it like, look) is her friend. She loves to play nerf gun war and be tickled by Dad. She loves her grandmothers, and I'm pretty sure she wonders why she can't live with them instead of the mean lady, me, who makes her clean up and go to bed and share the toys.
She likes Minnie Mouse, curious George and Doc Mcstuffins.
She still speaks mostly Hindi but she is saying a lot of English words, no phrases yet. She loves to say thank you and your welcome. She says amen after we pray.
She is beautiful y'all! And has the best little smirk and dimple. It's so cute.
Everything is not cute all the time though. We face a battle everyday. She moans in her sleep and wakes up combative at times, sometimes it's like we start over each morning, "hi I'm your mom, remember and I won't hurt you, you are safe here, we are on your side". We usually have at least one meltdown a day that causes us to leave where we are and go back home. It's usually because we told her no, like no you can't have chips and ice cream for breakfast, no you can't unplug all the electronics from the sockets, no you can't put the kitchen knives in your backpack! She has boundary issues of not knowing a family shares everything. It's clear that She is used to taking what she wants and fighting for it and manipulating to get the attention she wants.
It's hard on Vivian who is 10 and feels that her privacy is taken away a little by her new roommate. Luke is frustrated by her not speaking English (he's always the easy going one). And Logan..... A momma's boy who in an instant saw his Momma come home with a new sister his age attached to her hip. I know he doesn't understand the situation much more than Neena does. He sees her getting attention when she cries and he wants to do the same. Why doe he have to share if she doesn't? They fight all day. Each trying to get the other in trouble. Making mean faces at each other. Starting next week, they will be sitting across the table from each other at preschool and Logan's teacher thinks he will be able to help her......I am agreeing with that proohecy!
Neena is full of secrets that she can't verbalize. What happened at the orphanage? What does being an orphan for 5 years do to your heart? How does being abandoned affect your mind? What did she dream having a family would be like? So many secrets and questions.
So it's still hard after 4 weeks. Just 4 little weeks (says ashley forbes) that's all! That's not enough time! We haven't had time to figure it all out. The kids haven't had time to get it either. But even though we face a battle everyday, I think we have a breakthrough or get closer to a breakthrough each day too.
The best way I can describe the stage we are in is: uncomfortable. God called us to do something out of our little Quinley bubble of comfort. And it has made us all, me, Erin, Vivi, Luke, Logan and Neena, uncomfortable and it has taken us into unfamiliar territory. There is a lot of resistance here. BUT...isn't it the resistance that makes the butterfly and brings forth life! As a baby in the womb, We can never breathe our first breathe of true life until the pressure builds up and the resistance forces us to gasp for air!
So we will persevere together as a family and embrace the resistance (the bees Josh Byrd) and discomfort knowing that without it we will never be whole! As a momma, I can't wait to see the beautiful wings it will give my 4 children! And as a disciple of Christ,
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)
Nikki, this is a wonderful, tearful update on your past 4 weeks with Neena. I pray God's hand of blessings and wisdom on all of you. I can feel the hurt and pain as well as the joy you hold in your heart over this very big challenge that lies before you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThe thought came to me that taking time to pray over Neena's mind and thoughts, day and night, and committing her mind, thoughts, imaginations, and emotions unto Christ and covering them with the blood of Jesus would definitely be a first positive step for Neena. The word says that we "overcome by the blood of Jesus".......and "to call all of our thoughts and imaginations captive unto the Lord Jesus Christ". I use these two weapons of warfare against Satan often and he is certainly defeated when I do so. Love all of you and wishing you God's grace and peace in all things. Brenda Orr (Becky and Rachel's first cousin - Aunt's Nat's daughters.